*note: this post is not meant to criticize anybody

hey guys, i'm feeling very emotional now. as in, i have so much so much to say to everyone. as much as i wanna help myself to do better, i want to help the class too. i know, i dont hold leadership positions, my studies suck and so on. in fact, i dont even know in what position am i in to type this post. perhaps i'm too desperate. but one thing i'm very sure of is, i'm determined to fight this battle, are you?

take for example, math tutorial in the morning. for those who din come on time, this is for you.

howleong: ms ng, u want me to give them a call or something?
ms ng: howleong, at this point of time, no matter how hard you tried to pull them along but if they themselves dunt wanna to work, there's no point.

do you know how sad this is? its like almost implying that she's given up hope on some of us. sometimes i feel that i'm being looked upon as a potential retainee (no offence to the current retainees) can you see or feel all these? or is all these things oblivious to you? i certainly felt that what ms ng said was very true. if you dont even put in effort to help yourself, then how you expect ppl to help you? everytime as i watch quietly at the side, observing your conversations and all. when you speak vulgar, howleong and jiawen hits you, have you made an effort not to curse and swear again? or do you think tml will be another day then you will think of it another time. then i'll question myself, is this really working?

why is ppl like howleong working so hard to push ppl along when he can just go and mug by his own? despite our poor chemistry results, why does mrs tan still slot in so much time to help us revise for chemistry? why does ms toh have so much patience to explain and explain again when we dont understand? when all these happen, are you appreciative of it or are you like 'shit, more lessons again, faster end the lesson leh' i urge everyone, the least you can do to show your appreciation is to thank the teacher, esp on teachers' day.

then i was talking about pushing yourself. i noticed from daily routines, the mindsets of the people. its like you've given up on yourself unconciously. dont.
there is still time people, but very limited. the more you should work now! start doing your ten year series, reduce tv time, reduce internet surfing hours, revise constantly and everywhere, in the toilet, on the bus, waiting for mrt, whatever. you've got to be thristy for scoring. just keep pushing on, just do a favour for yourself, stay discipline (i recommend making a study timetable for everyday, and follow strictly to it) for the next 30 days. and even if the results arent promising, as long as you know you've made the effort, you wont regret. the worst thing that could ever happen to a person is to die regretting. anyway, if you've study, i dont think your results will be that bad. no matter what, always think of this, what are you doing all these for? your friends? teachers? parents? no, you're working for yourself. your friends, teachers, parents etc will never benefit if you do well what. so do you still think its a chore for you? call each other to have study sessions, and when you study, make sure you concentrate, dont get distracted. dont let this time pass you by. i wish for you, my dear classmates. until then, all the best! jiayou!

jiaxin